Saturday, March 11, 2017

Oh! Woe Is Me: Butthurt NATO Players Crying About So-called BMP Spam!


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For months, I have seen and heard the moaning and bitching about BMP spam. 

"OMG so many BMPs,"  they would cry.

Well Martha, there's a reason they call those troops motorized and that reason in this case is the BMP.

BUTTHURT Complaint #1: The BMP is too strong
The fact that its ATGM can only be fired while halted.somehow doesn't seem to be considered. The paper thin armor of the BMP is also overlooked  as  a weakness. This so-called juggernaut of the Red Army can be killed from the front by a .50 cal HMG (whereas a Marder and M113 cannot). Lastly, like all Soviets, THE BITCH GETS HIT ON 3+!!! Combine paper thin armor with getting hit like the only woman on a pirate ship and it is not uncommon for an entire company to be destroyed in a single turn by incredibly modest firepower. 

BUTTHURT Complaint #2: The BMP is too cheap
Let's compare a unit of 3 BMP-2 to 2 ITV (equal points). Offensively and defensively there is absolutely no comparison. The ITV win in every category and will kill many times their point value. In a straight up shoot out, the BMPs get hit on a 3+ and the ITV get hit on a 5+ or 6 (using the  Hammerhead). Equivilent West German and Brits produce similar results.

BUTTHURT Complaint #3: The BMP is spammed
This complaint is the lamest of the lame but needs to be addressed. It is so lame that I want to start a go fund me page to buy t-shirts for everybody that uses this complaint. The T-shirts will simply say "my momma raised an F#CKTARD!". To say a player with a motorized rifle battalion is spamming BMPs is like saying my hot chocolate is too chocolatlty. Again, lets use the ITV as an example. US M113 MCT can spam 4 ITV teams in a 21 point formation that has 8 ITOWs (on hammerheads) and 4 Dragons. Pointswise, this is arguably the most spammable AT formation in the game. Mayybe we should keep the ITV spam a secret or else Uncle Sam will stop building M1s. 

The BMP serves a central role in the Soviet MRD exactly as it does in TY.  It costs what it is supposed to cost, it does what it is supposed to do and the BUTTHURT shall evermore remain...